David was born on the second floor, above the Chinese Kitchen, after the flood and well before the noodle. He is regarded as a preeminent figure in Tuesday morning mimicry, often credited with the phrase "That's not cool." His works include "savage bicycle ride over the manhattan bridge on booze," "leftover steak in dumpster," and the controversial, oft-cited "nose picking at own funeral." When the psychogeography books are written, he will be remembered as a man who mapped our cities with his own skin; who fell asleep in the middle of a sentence; whose face was almost perfectly symmetrical, unlike Abraham Lincoln's.

Joseph Dobkin: born, died, and was married. throughout his life pronounced 'harbor' with a silent h. shortly before 14th birthday discovered Miss Tammany's dirty little secret. told no one. ambidextrous and trisexual. wore horns in thunderstorms. kept glass of water under bed to protect against thirst. in twilight years found bus drivers and half-empty juice cartons to be great sources of wisdom, strength and nutrition. last words dismissed as filthy flemish nonsense. a dirty old man.